Joke of The Tomorrow – Funny Quotes
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Never ever get into fights with ugly people. They have literally and figuratively nothing to lose!
Being happy can be hard work sometimes. It is like maintaining a nice home – you’ve got to hang on to your treasures and throw out the garbage.”
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell “BINGO!”
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.